Hi, don't have anyone i can talk to about this so hopefully someone here can help.
On the weekend me an my gf had a great weekend - stayed in a fancy hotel etc and we'd never been emotionally closer, ive been considering asking her the big Q... thats how close we are..
when we got home on sunday we ended up having sex for about 50 mins. unfortunately it was time for her to go home so i went to grab myself so i could pull out without the risk of leaving the condom behind and i couldnt feel it. reached a little further and it wasnt there!
i have a problem where normal sized condoms don't fit, ive got some larger diameter ones which have worked fine until now, (on saturday one started slipping but i realised, thew it away, cleaned up and used a new one)
i pulled out and there was no sign of it. she immediately rushed to the bathroom and couldnt find it inside her, we looked on the bed and couldnt find it.
I have now after some research realised that the condom length (180mm is too short and doesnt go all the way to my body and so when i've been inside her the whole condom has actually entered her and this along with her natural lube would have cause her to unknowingly pull it off.
I didn't ejaculate - i last a very long time, but we are aware that precum contains the little buggers too so i rushed down to the chemist to buy some EC pills, they wouldnt sell to me so i went back home, she had in the mean time found the condom inside her and gotten it out.
itook her down to the chemist and we got the ec. she took the 1st one then (about 10 mins had passed since the incident.) and the other 12 hours later as recommended.
Unfortunately she can't take the regular pill as it affects her heart, and male pill is apparrently a few years away, so we didnt have a 2nd line of defence so we are hoping for the best. I know statistically speaking we should be fine, but still...
since then she's been very quiet and ive been trying to get her to talk about it, and managed to get her to open up tonight over msn. she is saying that she feels there is a wedge between us and she doesnt know what she wants. she also told me that worst case scenario that she would understand if i left her.
now there is NO WAY i would do that, she is the only thing in this world that matters to me and im with her no matter what, thru thick and thin, we have let each other know that we want to be together for ever and all of a sudden its like she has forgotten that i love her as much as i do.
if she left me it would break my heart, ive spoken to her and explained that this issue has been a technical difficulty, and it looks like it happens to other people quite often, and that it shouldnt mean that there is something wrong between us.
im just hoping that i can show her i love her enough to make her change her thinking again. Im hoping its just nerves as its freaked her out a fair bit. she's said that she's not willing to risk it again, and im ok with that, i was a virgin until a few months ago, we stuck to foreplay for 8 months so we can do it again..
ive told her the actual act of intercourse isnt necessary for me to be happy with our relationship and ill be happy with whatever she wants to do, and i will do ANYTHING to help her through it.
-------------------------------------------------------------
big post - i know - im sorry, i had to get it out.
is there anyone who has had a similar experience (the emotional side)
what do people think i should do?
ive organised to have a quiet afternoon at my place watching a dvd on saturday. i just want to hold her and reassure her that i havent changed my view of her.
our 1 year anniversary is coming up soon and i've organised stuff for it so i really hope shes willing to share it with me..
cheers everyone..
