hey all,

my fiancee of 5 years now, who i love dearly and would never part has a hard time enjoying sex, she does not enjoy fore play in anyway, touching, licking, even kissing at times. when we first had sex,, i was her first,  she was not mine, before i met her i was very good at what i did, tried to please them more than myself, so from experience i knew i wasn't really doing anything wrong. she says it burns, gives like a grazing feeling,, so i bought some ky water based lube,, just made it worse,, i bought oil based thinking this had had to be the problem because after gentle touching and fingering, she could not produce enough wetness to give her any ease. this too made it worse for her,, so we decided to try different contreceptives as we use condoms,, we tried latex to durex that hurt, we gave up condoms and we went to the pill thinking the condoms probably played a huge part, the pill knocked her for 6, bad depression and mood swings like a gorilla, so we stopped that and believed we should seek medical advice. she had several tests done and the doctor could not find anything, at this time i started do doubt myself, thinking maybe im just not attractive for her or maybe i am doing something,, we never went to a gyno, she refuses too??? why, she says she has had enough of all the poking and proding, which i dont blame her. its so hard because i become so sexually frustrated and start going crazy as most of you woul know.. is it me or is it truly the simple fact that some people just dont enoy sex,, i dont believe you cant enjoy sex, it feels too good, please,, some one help, does anyone else experience this?? or have any suggestions

seriously sexually frustrated 

She may not want to see a gyno, but she needs to!!  If she loves you as much as you love her, she must be going absolutely mad with frustration.  I know my other half misses it as much as I do when she has to go without.

A good gyno will put her at ease, and fix the problem with a minimum of prodding & poking.

fitenough:

hey all,

my fiancee of 5 years now, who i love dearly and would never part has a hard time enjoying sex, she does not enjoy fore play in anyway, touching, licking, even kissing at times. when we first had sex,, i was her first,  she was not mine, before i met her i was very good at what i did, tried to please them more than myself, so from experience i knew i wasn't really doing anything wrong. she says it burns, gives like a grazing feeling,, so i bought some ky water based lube,, just made it worse,, i bought oil based thinking this had had to be the problem because after gentle touching and fingering, she could not produce enough wetness to give her any ease. this too made it worse for her,, so we decided to try different contreceptives as we use condoms,, we tried latex to durex that hurt, we gave up condoms and we went to the pill thinking the condoms probably played a huge part, the pill knocked her for 6, bad depression and mood swings like a gorilla, so we stopped that and believed we should seek medical advice. she had several tests done and the doctor could not find anything, at this time i started do doubt myself, thinking maybe im just not attractive for her or maybe i am doing something,, we never went to a gyno, she refuses too??? why, she says she has had enough of all the poking and proding, which i dont blame her. its so hard because i become so sexually frustrated and start going crazy as most of you woul know.. is it me or is it truly the simple fact that some people just dont enoy sex,, i dont believe you cant enjoy sex, it feels too good, please,, some one help, does anyone else experience this?? or have any suggestions

seriously sexually frustrated 

First thing is that vigina's come in all shapes and sizes, if your "man part" is large and her whole is small, then it is going to hurt no matter what you do or use, imagion trying to put a Limo into a space for a mini.

Second:

There are some women out there that dont enjoy sex, i know hard to believe, but it is true, my X was one of them, in the end we broke up because she dosnt want to have sex, and well i am walking around with blue balls because i am hardly getting any sex.

Ok, There HAS to be a medical reason for this whether that is physical or psychological. We are one of the few species on the earth that copulate for pleasure for a very good reason! You are right - it feels way too good not to enjoy it! so it could be psychological...... Is you G/F on any anti-depresant medication (that perhaps you don't know of?). Perhaps her problem is more psycological than physical and she may benefit from some sexual therapy? Or perhaps ther is another physical answer... If she experiences drastic moodswings whilst on the pill, this could also indicate a hormone imbalance (hence the not getting 'wet' enough). A thyroid problem or pertuitary imbalance may be the underlying issue here. As for the Gyno - she should be having regular pap spears every two years, and any physical abnormality in the vulva SHOULD be picked up by any practitioner during an examination. Hope this helps!

Sounds psychological to me - especially if she doesn't want to try and solve the mystery with a gyno (perhaps she had previous tests done because she loves you). She may have experienced some kind of trauma (and even suppressed it?). It may be something she requires counseling for. But until she realises she has a problem, then there's not much you can do but be as understanding as you can. Does she ever try to masturbate? And if so, does it hurt when she touches herself? Also, there are a thousand different pills. It is a major health issue to see a gyno regularly, wheter she's sexual or not, so overcoming that should be a priority.

Part of this may also be the fact that now she expects pain, her body isn't relaxed, she's less aroused and consequently it's going to be painful.  Try setting the atmosphere focus on her needs, making her comfortable and go from there.

Hi fitenough

Have you tried just sitting and watching her please herself to see how she does it ?

You could even please yourself while she does it.

If this don't work then maybe she needs to see someone.

Good luck
Tiffany