Probably a cheesy way to start this but here goes.... I'm an
attractive, straight guy. I've always had boyish good looks and
attracted more than my fair share of female attention over the years;
especially when I dance. But I've always been too much of a gentleman
to sexually capitalise on that attention. I had a good upbringing as
such things go. As I grew up with a number of very attractive and very
sexually active sisters who were always in high demand, I witnessed just
about everything a man shouldn't do or say when courting a woman... at
least from my sisters perspectives, that is, and those young years spent
watching and listening to them shaped a lot of my ideas about sex and
relationships.
As far as my own sex drive is concerned, there's only one way to describe it: Absolutely Massive x 10!!!
I'm now fast approaching the 1/2 way mark if my life. From the age of 16
through to my late twenties, I chased what I thought I should be
chasing; that societal ideal that says, find a nice girl, get married,
settle down, start a family, etc, etc, even though my inner self kept
telling me, 'Gee mate, this isn't for you!'
Although I didn't know it at the time, my first sexual experience came
at the age of 7 while climbing the ropes at the school gym. I was a
good and fast rope climber and one day, when I got to the top, my willy
started to throb and feel simply amazing. Pretty soon, I was climbing
every rope and pole I could find, just to get that funny but amazing all
the same, feeling back again. I even resorted to climbing doors until
one day when some weird white stuff came out of my dick and scared me
shitless!
I consider myself lucky that where I lived at the time, formal sex
education at school occurred at age 11, otherwise I might have worried
about that white stuff for a fair few more years than I needed to.
Soon after that 'education' I saw my first explicitly naked woman in a
Penthouse mag a mate of mine stole from a newsagent en-route to the lake
where we went fishing all day. I was completely mesmerised by it to
say the least, and I got an incredible amount of ribbing from my mates
who noticed my obvious enthralment.
Something clicked in my brain that day back in the eighties; a time when
short skirts, nylons and stilettos were all the rage amongst my female
peers who wanted to look sexy. And boy, did they ever!
I always knew my sexual appetite back then was much much bigger than my
peers. Talking about sex and fantasies amongst my peer group proved to
me time and time again that my sexual desires and fantasies were either
way ahead of anyone else's or I was simply in a sexual minority, perhaps
both.
My first few girlfriends either thought I was weird and that was that,
or simply refused to talk about such things any further and as time went
on, I pushed those desires deeper into the vast sexual expanse that
lies within me thinking that perhaps I was a little weird and those
things were better left well alone.
Like trying to squeeze a balloon, those desires kept coming to the
forefront of my mind and whether I was in a relationship or not, I
sought satisfaction with a select few hookers whom I found attractive
enough and willing. I must have spent a small fortune chasing my sexual
dreams; I hate to think about it.
Hookers can be mighty fun and accepting. Most, to my surprise, thought
the few things I selected to share with them from the tomes of fantasies
I keep locked away in my head, were very sexy and they were more than
happy to indulge with me, but there's always that deeper level of
intimacy that's missing with hookers. The thrill of chasing a
particular fantasy fizzled out to an anti-climax after I had climaxed as
the time was up and I had to leave; else face the fists of the guerilla
protection unit waiting in the car.
As the years flew by and I hopped from one sexually fun but ultimately
unsatisfying relationship to another, I began to wonder if I'd ever meet
my sexual match. I like intelligent, classy, leggy women who are
extremely feminine and I've certainly had more than my fair share of
trophy girlfriends. But finding that one who would let me open up, who
was willing to explore the range of sexual experience I am willing to
explore without judgement or thinking I was some weird pervert, is
something I never managed to do.
So my life is approaching the 1/2 way mark and I'm in a long term
relationship with a woman I love very much, but same old same old in the
sex department for me and no amount of talking, coaxing or otherwise is
going to We've invested far too much in our relationship to end it
on my sexual whim and, if I'm honest, she is my perfect partner in every
way except sexually. We've started a family now and for all intents
and purposes, we're married, if not officially.
I made a decision to suppress the sexual beast inside of me and walk the
road I'm currently walking, but it's not without regret. I know there
are many woman out there who would suit me better than any current or
previous partners but at some point I had to actually have a life filled
with some normality and stop looking.
These days the lure of high class hookers or seeking sordid affairs on
internet dating sites loom ever present in the background but it's
ultimately no way to have a fulfilling relationship or sex life.
So for all of you out there who have fantasies and sexual desires you're
afraid of, don't be a pussy! Get out there and find someone to make
them happen. You only live once!
xx